The path to self-destruction.

I started to write this blog because I self-destruct.  I spend long months running and planning only to slack off and stop well before I can apply the word taper.  I do this out of fear.  Yesterday, I ran to crush some of that fear.  Here's a secret for you...if you run, fear will follow but can't keep up.
I ran a 13 mile long run...just to quiet the bad little voice.  It felt good!  Well it mostly felt long... but good.  So, I got up and ran again.  Today I did a 6 mile jaunt with Miss Kate out on North Lake Whatcom (Nope, not my photo.  It's ripped off the internet)




The best part?  Wading into the cool lake water....At the end.


Know what else?  The little voice is a mere whisper and getting quieter by the minute. 
Total miles 256

All is not lost on one run...

With well under a month before San Diego, I'm already getting nervous.  The running today was delightful but, only for the company and weather.  Sunny skies and my friend Leah.  What could be better?  Maybe a few more friends but maybe not.

Like I said, the run was delightful but not because it was easy going.  The actual running  had a big 'training' vs. any sort of 'fun' stamp on it.   The first 2 miles were a bit fast and I felt great. Then it happened, I noticed we were both struggling with maintaining the pace.  We backed off but it was all over.  By the time the 3 mile turnaround came up, I was feeling all of the last three work nights in my legs.  FYI, it felt like liquid lead.  So, we started back more slowly then....walked!  Curses to my legs that won't go and go.  Why can't I be 20 again?  Oh the years wasted on youth....LOL.  Leah laughed and said don't worry, you'll do fine.  It's just a race, what's the worst that can happen?  I said it was pretty much my big fat ego on the line. 

...then....Leah says, "maybe you need to step out of your ego a bit.  You know, try leaving all of the time and pace expectations out and just run."  I was able to laugh at myself a little.  The rest of the run was more of a run/walk.  No, this talk did not help today's running go any easier. It did give me some perspective.  We finished by wading into the cold lake and soaked in some sun.

AND... I realized that I have a big fat ego to get in check.  It was a good day and all is not lost...Thanks Louie, you're a good friend.
Total miles 237.5  error in miles total...now have to mine for actual miles. 

Knowing your limits is hard.

OK, I updated and then felt the need to say this...

I have had injuries in the past.  I ran through the pain and have to say enjoyed it...for lack of a better word.  I ignored the pain because running was going so well I didn't want to back off.  I'd run 7 or 8 days in a row and on long run days my hip flexors would object from 10 miles until I finished.  By the time I finished, I was done.  So tired, I'd fall asleep for hours.
My body put up with the abuse until I got the wrong pair of shoes.  The area of the shoe at my ankle bone was too high and I earned myself some inflammation at the tendon traveling down to the sole of my foot.

I asked my then boyfriend's dad about the injury.  He happens to be an orthopedic surgeon.  He advised I take time off.  Time off???  I exclaimed.  That won't work!  Can't I just cut the shoe, get other shoes or tape...isn't there a running solution?  He looked at me and said, "you can run now and be off for several months in the future or just take some time off and rest...your choice".  I begrudgingly took his advice and rested, bought new shoes and recovered.  Yes I was very stubborn!
That was then.  Now, I take days off...perhaps a few too many and try to listen to my body.

Not long ago, a sweet and smart gal I know asked if she should worry about her knee pain.  She says it hurts worse when she runs.  She also doesn't take many rest days.  I told her to take a few rest days.  She of course did not because she's blissfully running longer and longer.
I get it...what I don't get is this.  We were discussing her knee pain with another runner and received a completely different response.  The 'other runner' piped up and said run through it...after she described injuries she'd needed surgery to repair.  I was so frustrated that rather than give my friend encouragement to rest and take care of herself, she did the opposite.
I understand hardcore ....but I say keep that attitude to yourself and learn from your own mistakes.

 I've been pretty close to injury free this year and intend to stay that way...through rest breaks and knowing my limits!

Recommitted

I'm truly glad I did a 1/2 and am looking forward to the full marathon.  I did want to be very clear...I'm still looking toward a 50K...and maybe beyond.  OK, that makes me chuckle as I haven't done a full for years and the last one was slow very slow...and painful.  (Bellingham 2007 5:12)

But, I'm still a little crazy so here we go to San Diego.  Less than one month away.   Of course, I've scheduled a lovely 2 weeks of nothing after the race then back at it.  The goal?  Chuckanut 50K in March 2011.  I'm a little nervous about San Diego of course.  Wouldn't be me if I wasn't...that made no sense.
Well, I was surfing the net.  (My favorite pre-run procrastination activity)  I came across a race report from the 50K from someone who may become my personal hero.  He's very funny and makes the race sound very reasonable.  Maybe that's just my prospective but give it a look.  Race Report:Chuckanut 50k 2010 by Tjalling Ypma
A little inspirational?  Yep, it is!

Drop that pack and run around!

 When I run, I feel empowered, bigger and my favorite...not puny.  Running makes average gals like me feel like athletes.  I was reminded of this when a friend admitted that she didn't feel like an athlete before she started running regularly (FYI, she's one tough, athletic cookie). I realized something about all runners, especially women.  We all carry our own burdens throughout our days.

 I think of these burdens as packs.  Some packs are huge, as if they're carrying an elephant otherwise known as a 'chip on your shoulder'.

Other people seem to float through life with a day pack, these are the easy going people we all envy.


Everyone has a pack; a few thoughtless statements in our childhood causing a whole lifetime of self criticism, jobs taking more than time--all that pressure and criticism can pull on our hearts.  Then there's our families;  with all the wonderful things that husbands, kids and aging parents bring, it's still pressure to our lives.  Throw in the inevitable: school troubles, illness, death, money and plain disagreements and you've got yourself a pack that shrinks and grows regularly.

For me, running is a time to put down my pack.  Out on a run, it's only my expectations.  I'm not discouraged by expectations, politics or the roles people expect.  So, I say run on! There's plenty of time for carrying around that pack.

 Picasso's Women Running in the Sand  
(But, keep your boobies covered!-- I have been waiting to use this image! )

Run, work...repeat

Just a little mileage update.  I did manage a quick run yesterday after a lovely day off Monday.   Admittedly, there wasn't a lot of running last week.  I was too busy worrying and feeling all the little aches and pains that come along with training.
Well, this girl is back on the horse.  My legs feel better having run the 1/2...perhaps it's my brain that feels better.  Now, if only my job would give marathon training days off.  We should look into that as a benefit.  These legs are made for running, not walking the hospital floor.
Or, maybe I should just suck it up and run, work....repeat.  I'll admit the whole 'job thing' does bring home more money than running. 

Total miles:  264.5

Vancouver...done! *times updated

Well, I had a good day but didn't make my 2 hour time limit.  My time was 2:05:11 according to my watch.  I will post my official time when it becomes available.  *times updated below!!!
Ashley also raced today.  I did get a disclaimer and was able to secure an OK to post.  No paperwork necessary of course.  :)  Anyhoo, Ashley said her time was 2:17 ish but I think she did 2:15.  First time!  First race EVER.  I'm completely excited for her! 

 

Here's Ashley and her food stash...who knew it would be bigger than mine!

Here we are at the race expo...

This sculpture  “A-maze-ing Laughter” was just down the street from our hotel.  (Ashley took this)  Check out the whole thing at  Vancouver International Sculpture ...

 We, of course, needed to eat some yummy food.  We stopped at Nat's Pizza http://www.natspizza.com/

 Nat's was delicious, thin crust pizza and a side of meatballs in marinara sauce...delicioso!

...and then some A-M-A-Z-ING chocolate.  For dessert, we went to Dulcinea Cafe on Denman St.  We had hot chocolate, thick creamy deliciousness.  It was like chocolate crack.  

http://www.dulcineachocolatecafe.ca/index.html

Seriously...chocolate crack...

5 am shot of Ashley.  "5's really early"....

 

Coffee...I have my priorities (photog Ashley of course)

  

OK not running this is the start...we're waiting to run

 

but the only action shot is this one... (both by my official photographer Ashley)

Here's the race shirt and medal. 

 

Ashley at The Sylvia Hotel, Vancouver.  A lovely location...a little pricey but great service!

http://www.sylviahotel.com/map.htm 

So the whole trip was good.  Not much wait going up.  We had some trouble finding parking for the expo but shared a cab in the morning with a nice gentleman named Rob.  He treated us to the cab as a first race celebration.  

We split up at mile 4.  It was misting at the start.  A little rain near the end and didn't quite make the 2 hour cut off but, neither of us were injured.  I was able to return Ashley to Patrick in one piece and feel a little more confident about San Diego.  

 Today was a good day.

*OFFICIAL RESULTS!

Me 2:05:11

Ashley 2:14:05  

Good for us both!!!!